he will never know how much he meant to her

ITS SUNDAY . boring day lah . sleep quite early ytd cuz not feeling well luh . wakeup at 2+ i think but my head still hurts lah . wait for my sis & mother to go over to my auntie house to play mahjong den i online . was boring luh today . dame hungry also cuz i only drink a cup of milk when i wakeup till just now i had my dinner . went to weight myself just now . i silm down le sia . LOL . cuz of all these problem make me like tat , but also good lah . house was dame quite lah cuz sis was out :D den actually wanna go out dinner with meihui de . but she going over to yishun for dinner leh . far sia , only for dinner den come back .so never go luh . sorry arh meihui . tmr is monday liao . aiai haven give me ans sia if tmr going out slack mah >.<>.<

I HATE THIS FEELING!!

just came back from dinner . was tired lah . the food was nice lor . sleep at 530 ytd den wakeup at 11+ i think . online the whole afternoon den went to bath & start to prepare at around 4+ . took some photos of myself & with my maid . alot ppl look at me like im a monster like sia . all saying ' see ... xiaomimi now become bigmimi liao . last time so small nia . now so big liao ( they used to call me xiaomimi , some of them still do lah ) ' i was like diao lah . haha . was laughing alot on the dinner cuz me & my brother was making fun of ourself . got special guest sia . CHEN JIAN BING . he joker lah . everyone was laughing like hell lor . but overall was okay luh . cab-ed home & i vomited lah . i hate this feeling lor . cuz the stupid taxi got one smell i dun like de plus keep stop lor . GRRRR .... feeling dame tired now luh . have to rest early tonight :D

never update just now cuz my sis was using & now its already 321 liao but im still fully awake . cant sleep at night lah , cuz just now got sleep in the afternoon . feeling happy today & i dun know why . school was okay . last 2 period was classroom cleaning & everyone was like slacking lor . finish school jiu go home liao cuz i tot mummy would be at home cuz i wanna do facial cuz tmr there is a dinner but she went for mahjong >.<>.<>

DO I LOOK DEPRESSED ?

my teacher say i look sad & depressed sia . maybe bah . school was the same today . these few days very slack cuz is either teacher never come if not den they have the intensive thingy . finally , no need go meet teacher liao . cuz its like the whole class also dun wan go den teacher help us lor . heng arh . if not teacher sure wan ask mummy wat happen to me de . saying im okay its just a lie . teacher talk to me when i waiting for shermaine outside office . after talking , tears fill my eyes . had lunch at yewtee point with shermaine . chat alot lah . home sweet home after tat . sorry zhu never pei you go bugis cuz i dun have the mood to go out luh . duibuqi . reach home bath & online . my emotion was like fcuk lah afternoon . sorry aiai arh . take a nap to make me feel better lah . im tired lah . really very tired . i just feel like sleeping for a longlong time or the best never wakeup . hope tmr will be a better day . i really dun feel like going to school . haiishh

ALONE

went to school today although i den feel like . sleep for the whole day sia . cuz also nth to do de lor . didnt go for recess cuz im sure im alone downstair de . so stay upstair , thank shermaine & tianjia for pei-ing me . finish school jiu go home liao . was sleepy lor even though i sleep in class . take a nap in the afternoon & when i wakeup SI AIAI STILL HAVEN REPLY WO >.<>.< reach home & now blogging lor . dame boring lah & sleepy too :D YES !!! sis has gone for her pri 5 camp & i can use the com for the next few day :D

IM GOING CRAZY !!!!

perhaps im really going crazy . feeling dame stress in school lah . today lesson dame relax lah . almost all teacher no come . only attend chem & english nia . was dame sleepy lah today cuz ytd sleep at 1+ 2 ? think so . finish school at 250 den rush down to lotone meet mummy cuz mummy wait dame long le . had my lunch at kfc . was like finally i eat something full . den walkwalk brought another clothes for fun . haha . thanks mummy . after tat jiu home sweet home liao . didnt have dinner cuz dun feel like eating lor . thank aiai & weiling for saying so many things to me . im okay liao . wat you all said really got meaning . i will remember de :D sorry meihui today no pei you go down yishun cuz my head pain & im very tired le . now give me sleep where also can luh , dame sleepy lah . have to sleep early tonight .

DO I REALLY LOOK SAD ?

boring luh . have to go school today . saw my results was like haiishh luh . have to go for the parents meeting lor , but is the whole class going cuz all de results cant make it for sec 5 :D school was still okay luh . FINALLY GOT BACK OUR CLASS PHOTO LE :D will post asap cuz i need ppl help me scan into com . who can help me ? finish school jiu go back home le . found tat i was not in the mood to eat anything today , recess only drink soya milk nia . after school was just tofu & hotdog . wait till dinner den have bit of rice . dun feel like eating luh . went to have nap at afternoon cuz was dame tired lah . wakeup at 6 + . was shock to see my teacher msg me sia . asking me if im okay cuz she see me rather sad in school . she said she never since my cheerful face for a long time le . isit ? cuz wenhui also got say something like tat . he said last time de joanna is not like tat de . not sadsad de . have i change ? perhaps yes bah . i feel moody all the time . perhaps is cuz i dun really have a few friends around me . i dun know wat had happen to me . i feel so lonely , i feel so scare . i need your strenght to make me stand up once again . i need a long , warm hug to make me feel better . will you understand ? how i wish you were still by my side cuz i know you will cheer me up whenever im down . haiishh , dun talk bout tat le lah . makes me feel sad nia . maybe wat aiai said was right lah . forget bout the past , think bout the present & go for the furture . SI AIAI . BIAN ME AGAIN . haiishh . im still waiting for you to reply me leh . you bian wo again lah >.<>

GOODBYE MY LOVE♥

sunday :D was like quite boring today cuz never go out all these . ps meihui , i know you all like very long no call me go out le but i still cant make . duibuqi , next week okay i promise ( if you all got go out luh ) . sleep quite late ytd night cuz i have no mood lah . thanks aiai for all ur efforts for cheering me up when you know im sad . thanks for all those funny videos :D i feel quite guilty sia cuz of how the way i treated you last time but now you still treat me so good . duibuqi for wat i done last time & xiexie ni alot . wakeup found tat aiai is already awake , was quite surprise lah . sorry for the late reply cuz its after 2h den i reply :x had my lunch luh den watch tv with mummy . sunday no nice show de sia , all quite boring de . but i still laugh lah , at least im happy . den wait till 530 den can use com cuz sis was using . pei amanda played audi awhile . was dame happy lah cuz ytd night we play tgt we both did 188 fm & i did another 190 fm :D did i improve ?
was quite shock lah cuz i know im a noob . online also nth much to do . had meggie mee for dinner cuz mummy dun know wat to cook . AIAI YOU PS ME !!!! ( DUN KNOW OF YOU WILL SEE THIS BUT SORRY LUH :D ) sian luh tmr got school . how i hope i have finish Nlevel liao . so can sleep all i wan all day . am i starting to run away from you ? im scare . really scare .

答应你 我会好好过 不让 这些眼泪白流

sleep very late ytd night cuz was chatting & plaing audi with my aiai :D benlai is my korkor de , but he say korkor too common liao . went to bed at 4 am cuz he say i having weitong & its late le . wakeup at 11+ cuz my mother suddenly shout " GRRRR " so dame loud tat i wakeup from my sleep . asked her wat happen she say shout for fun de . ha ... nvm cuz i always do tat to wake my family up . wakeup liao den online till now lor . was quite boring lah cuz nth to do . wanna go out de but see wanna rain le den nvm bah . search for some songs & found a new song from BY2 我知道 . i think its dame nice lah . went to look for the MV & my tears was rolling down my cheek when i was watching the MV . aiai say i very emotional , will mah ? maybe cuz i was thinking of somethings bah . after tat had my dinner & now was blogging right here lor . feeling very complicated lah . i found tat i had not been missing you so much like i used to & i dun know why . maybe its a good thing bah . but how am i able to forget someone when he is everything to me . perhaps going into a new relationship will help me bah but who will be there to help me cuz im a failure in relationship . today was the 97 days le . 3 more days to 100 days . i was crying & smiling to myself at the same time & i feel tat im very silly . but isit wrong to be silly ? i use to tot tat im the luckiest girl & i never tot tat i would not be able to hold ur hands anymore but i was wrong . everything around us has change & perhaps the both of us has change too . we two belong to two different world . its just tat we cross by each other & fate seem to put us tgt but everything ended too fast . its way too fast tat i cant even breathe . even if one day i had given up on you , you will still be someone very special to me in my heart cuz we had been through all those hard time , sadness & happiness tgt . even now you are not by my side , i know i had to go on without you & im sorry . everything has ended cuz of me . perhaps i said things way too harsh to you when we are angry with each other . im sorry but i have to go on without you . baby,iLOVEYOU . will you be saying this to me onces again ?

ERXIN ERXIN !!!!

didnt go to school ytoday also , cuz haven okay yet . dun know if my geography got pass not . hope got bah . wakeup online den chatchat with some old friend . thanks for those songs :D den was playing audi but stomach keep pain sia . play until half den i relise tat i haven eat my medicine . den ytd night de medicine say eat 2 i only eat 1 . blur sia me . have my lunch den help my bro in his game again . play till half jiu fell asleep le . so my sis takeover . they all dame noisy sia . i keep waking up but i was laughing lah cuz they say very stupid thing dame loud . still till 6 + wakeup have my dinner den watch tv . till now den blog lor . dun know wat is wrong with my msn sia . talk to some ppl they cant receive de . was online facebook just now den got one person dame erxin de lor . like so despo lor . ask me once to intro all these den say wat cuz looking for stead . so erxin sia . the face like shit like tat lor. den reply back not interested now come ask again . FUCK OFF LAH . erxin dabian . >.< hope i will feel better tmr bah . hope no more running to toliet :D

SICKSICKSICK !!!

arrhhh ... im sick lah . but not very serious lah . still can go out have fun :D never go to school today , so cant get back my geography results . wakeup at 9+ . dun know why wakeup so early . den online awhile jiu change & go poly see doctor . need to wear the stupid mask sia , dame hot de lor . give alot medicine sia . got day one & night de . but only give one day de MC . give 2 days mah . den i 4 days no need go school . haiishh . but dun think i going tmr also bah . still not feeling well leh . finish seeing doctor den train-ed down to bugis meet my mother . go there cut my hair , but only the fringe nia . but look the same only cut short abit . trim my eyebrown also , but look like the same also . not much different lah . then go had my lunch den go bugis street walkwalk . shop for my clothes for dinner :D also brought a new bag from ink . hope it look good on me bah . after tat train-ed back to yewtee meet daddy . walk around yewtee point & keep laughing like hell lor . after tat home sweet home . was surprise tat my sis wasnt at home , cuz can use com but she go out . haha . den bath & online till now . was like boring lah . seriously i found tat this few days i have not been missing you tat much . i dun know why . but my eyelid keep jumping . is there something bad going to happen ? or isit the disappointment you wanna give me ? im scare .

MY RESULTS SUCK LAH !!

today actually dun wanna go school de lor . but in the end also wakeup :D guai hor . went to school take back my results . was like so suck lor . almost fail . not all get back yet . but im happy lah , cuz i pass my weak subject which was chinese :D

physic 25.5 / 50
chemistry 28.5 / 50
english : paper 1 PASS :D
paper 2 40 / 60
chinese 83 / 150 :D
math 38 / 140 :x
social studies 18 / 50

the rest haven get . hope my geo can pass to pull up my social studies marks lor . die lah . i fail math . haiishh . whole class only 4 ppl pass math nia sia . POA also sure die liao lor . i dun wan meet the teacher sia , cuz teacher say those results for MYE cant make it for 5NA de need go meet parents session sia . i dun wan . i hate tat lah . teachers always say alot things den mummy will keep adding till i dame ps one . but see my results sure cant make it for 5NA liao lor . sure go ite liao . but its okay lah . also not bad :D

FINALLY , END OF EXAM :D

finally today was the last day of exam . can play liao :D having phy paper today . still okay lah but i think i will fail lor . cuz i forget all the formula den anyhow do de . they give me wat i just add all the number up or something like tat :D also finish in 30mins nia :D den sleep for the rest of the time left . after tat was chinese listening . still okay lor, very relax . finish listening went to westmall had lunch with siyu cuz i dame hungry lah . sit there eat got 2 girls from lower sec sitting behide us dame kaobei lor . keep shouting den say wat money money money . ppl eating they saying money still say till so loud . like wan let the whole world know got ppl own them money . finish eating jiu go home le . online till now . just now went to yewtee with mummy cuz she wanna check things . brought food home also . nicenice :D heng afternoon no school . but hope tonight can have a good rest bah . still chatting with cailing & jeremy . angry with her sia . keep sabo me & say things tat should not say . but nvm lah :D anyway happy birthday jiajia . althought i dun know you well but wish you all the best bah .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIA :D

although we are not tat close anymore but just wanna wish you a birthday wish . jiayouss for ur O Level this year :D okayokay . today was my second last day of my exam . was having chem only . i go write wrong till got POA. tmr was phy paper & chinese listening . need to go study later for phy liao . today chem was okay lor . still can do . finish in just half an hour :D & sleep for the rest of the 45 mins :x finish liao jiu go home use com cuz my sis haven finish school mah . after tat pei amanda play audi awhile jiu go off le . actually was watching tv with mummy de , but see till half den fall asleep . die liao lor . later dun think i can sleep again . but during day time im really dame fucking tired de . but at night jiu cant sleep like shit sia . keep turning & turning on my bed & his pictures keep appearing like hunting after me like tat . MUST KEEP MYSELF AWAKE DURING DAYTIME . if not like tat keep going on will i will be suffering from isominia . im happy today lah . cuz there will be a gathering for with my pri school mates during june holiday . going over to sentosa . hope everyone can make it so tat there will more fun . but dun throw us girls down the water can liao . hope he will be going bah . i really hope . but i really dun know if he will turn up anot . im scare to know the ans . i dun wan disappointment .

today is sunday . never go out . staying at home the whole day . wakeup at 11+ cuz my sis on the com very loud . wakeup so early nth to do lor. walk around the house like doing nth . had my breakfast & watch tv . den pei amanda play audi awhile den continue watch tv . watch till fall asleep . den mummy keep come disturb me . i keep wakeup sia . >.<>.< have to stay up late again today . i need to do some shopping liao . cuz got dinner next week . anyone can pei me go bugis shop ?

its saturday & im staying at home almost the whole day . sorry meihui & jeslyn i never go . ps wor . today no tuition for me cuz math exam over le . only my sis . wakeup online den have lunch . weee~ no cook . i love outside food can unless is my mum cooking :D after tat yuanting called me . meet her up at yewtee to pass her somethings then went to buy things for mummy to eat cuz she hurt her leg . saw angela on the way :D very xianmu them sia . always got their good friends around to ask them out , to share things with . after tat took the longer way home ( tat is wat i always do cuz i hope to see someone ) reach home play audi awhile den have dinner . sitting alone to eat with my grandma . poor thing sia . cuz mummy was bathing . sis was watching tv & fai piqi . brother was playing his com . i finish everything then they come down . blogging right now cuz nothing to do liao . just finish editing some photo i took today :D sometime i wonder why time pass so dame slow sia . im trying my very best to forget you but everything go pass so slow tat makes me remind me of you everytime . why you are so hard to forget ? sometime i even tot tat i have given up on you but when i fully awake i realise tat i had not & the feeling suck . i wanna shout out loud or even cry out loud to make me feel better . i cant forget you so simply cuz you left a deep scar on me . nothing in this world is fair & tat include relationship . its the most selfish thing on earth & i have to be selfish cuz i love you . i hate tat . i dun wan things to happen this way . but when i wanna end everything , its too late cuz i fell too deeply .

Finally , MY COM IS BACK :D

went to yewtee to repair just now . expensive lor . cost me $140 . change the graphic card & fan nia . happyhappy :D had math paper 1 today . emm ... still okay lah . hope can pass lor . cuz tuition teacher put alot of hope in me :x finish exam when to westmall outside de coffeeshop eat breakfast with siyu . was dame full lor . talk alot also . thanks arh . maybe going out with meihui & jeslyn tmr . dun know they wan go where leh . wat topone ? anyone heard tat before ? they say same like kbox . dame lots of things to update now . have to download songs , edit photo & alot lah . update tmr bah :D

EXAMEXAM&STILL EXAM .

still having my exams this few day lor . paper was okay only POA . dame hard lah can . ytd POA paper 2 at least i still know how to do . today paper 1 i was like WTF . sleeping&daydreaming for the paper . had english paper 2 today also . heng the last word i write teacher say times up :D tmr having my math paper 1 . hope i can do it bah . sorry wor yuanting . ytd ask you out to eat but in end never . PS :x was like so dame unlucky lor . I FELL DOWN FROM MY HOUSE'S STAIRCASE . hurt my arm . when to hospital check heng only the tissue swollen . but from last friday till now still pain sia . hope can recover soon bah :) was like staying at home these few days . after exam jiu go home liao . reach home pei mummy&sleep for almost every afternoon . den at night cant really sleep . hope everything will be better after exam bah . after exam must go take mc stay at home rest :D

perhaps letting you go is the best for not hurting myself .
120509 , the last day i saw you .
i was sitting right behind you watching you .
i feel like everything is so different .
i never use to be sitting there&just watching you from ur back view .
i told myself maybe its all fated bah .
things ended up like that is all my fault .
if i never been so stubborn , attitude problem , i dun think we would ended up like this .
everything started with me .
im wondering , am i going to be like this for the next few month , or even years ?
i made the same mistake 2 years ago & i made the same now .
i never regraded knowing you or even being with you .
i wanna shout out loud .
baby, iLOVEYOU .
istillmissyou .

ANYONE FREE TO ACCOMPANY ME FOR A WALK AT THE BEACH?
SOMEONE WHOM I CAN TALK TO?
SOMEONE I CAN SHARE EVERYTHING WITH?

i dun know wat is wrong with my com but till now its not fixed yet & i have to use laptop . today start MYE le . had english paper 1 & chinese paper 1 . chinese was quite diffcult lor . but still manage to do lah . sure fail de . english was still okay lor . finish exam have to rush home cuz got math tuition . but i was still late lah . reach home teacher was there liao . finish tuition den bath & help my bro with his game thingy . tmr was geography paper . have to study later . scare sia . think i will also fail bah . so hard lor now the exam . was feeling better this few day cuz at least have yuanting to talk to . THANKS YUANTING

i feel im really left out in school .
we used to be good friends but i dun know why we ended up like tat .
i tried to talk to you all but you all seem to be ignoring me .
you all went out together & you all left me out all alone .
i dun know was to do le .
i know i wasnt talking to you all first cuz im having lots of problems .
but now when everything is okay,im being left behind .
i really hope we could be like last time .
happily chatting & crazily having fun .
i miss the time when we were all together .
perhaps i have done something wrong but can you all let me know wat i have done wrong ?
will we remain like this ?
i really miss you guys .
GWENDA, TRICIA & LIQING ♥

was like missing you all this while .
but am i able to let you go ?
falling in love is easy but forgettng someone you love is diffcult .
i told myself not to contact you till end of this year after Nlevel .
but am i able to do that ?
i feel so jealous when you are chatting with her .
see i was correct .
you guys will slowly lead to msg .
but i cant stop you from doing that .
was can i do ?
those days we spend together were the happiest days .
i know i were the one that made you give up on me .
baby , iLOVEYOU .
i really do love you .
i may not be the prefect girl in ur heart .
but my love for you is prefect .
i feel so sad & i dun know wat else i can do .
when ever im online , i cant see you online & i cant talk to you .
while others are able to chat with you happily .
think you must have blocked me .
if you hate me tat much let me know .
but baby , remember tat no matter wat you do i will always support & respect ur decision .
no matter wat happen , i will always be there for you .
i been to places where we used to go togther but everything seen to be different without you .
i sitted there alone & pictures of you keep appearing .
will you still hold my hands like you used to & walk home with me ?
will you still be able to send me home no matter how late i go home ?
will we be calling each other every night & chat till midnight ?
will you be coming over to my house downstair in the middle of the night when you cant sleep ?
will you give the both of us one more chance ?
本来不觉得你特别疼我,直到你放弃爱我以后
BABY , iLOVEYOU ♥