i feel like blogging but idk wat to blog bout . stay at home ytd as im broke i didnt get to go to supperclub . kinda sad . feel like going back to school but thinking of all the hard work i have to put in really make me feel scare . but think going back to school is the only way to stop me from thinking of other things . chatted on phone with sam & arhhjingg last night . after hanging , i cant get to sleep although i know im tired . brushing up some of my feelings & told myself i have to cheerup . i dun used to be so weak , dun used to be so lonely , dun used to be down but ever since problems in school , i turn out to be like this . i turn to be so optimism . i think alot & get myself hurt in the end . i told myself not to be like tat again but sorry , i cant do it . i wish to go bac kto the cheerful side of me but i cant seems to pull myself back . i seems to be laughing happily but sometime , i dun think its my real self . i used to hate being alone , being lonely . but now , i seems to loved it . wanna be alone & let my mind settle down for a min . if there is a big field for me to run , i would & of course i will scream out everything on my mind .

going down to batok later to take my school skirt . feel like going down to pick meihui but idk if i should . tmr is the last day of 2009 . lots of things happen in this year & really wish this upcoming year would be better .